Did you catch my last two blog posts? They were all about what TO DO in the morning and powerful ways to end your evening. While thinking of what to do is great, it’s important to recognize the things we’re doing that are leading us to those tantrums and crazy-me moments. Here’s my list of the TOP 5 THINGS HAPPY and EFFECTIVE MOMS DON’T DO:

1) They Don’t Use Their Kids As Their Alarm Clock: They don’t sleep or lie in bed until their kids wake  them up. Instead they start their day intentionally. They wake up before their kids to take care their own needs before they’re asked to take care of others’ needs. Start your day intentionally and you are far less likely to be reactive and yelling before the kids leave the house. Decide when and how you will begin your day and make it happen. 

2) They Do Not Look at Their Phone First Thing in the Morning: While they may use it as an alarm, they have their notifications off so they don’t get distracted by any messages that come in at night. When we look at our phone first thing, our plan is often hijacked. We don’t do what we planned to do because we get sidetracked by responding to someone who texted or emailed while we were sleeping. Stop and put the phone down. When you choose to tend to your phone messages instead of what you had planned for the morning, your day starts off reactively instead of deliberately. Things will come up during the day that you need to attend to but, first thing in the morning, is not the time. Calm, happy moms do not involve their phone in their morning routine. Click To Tweet

3) They Do Not Start Their Day with Sugar: They know that if they start their day with sugar, they will spend the rest of the day managing sugar spikes and cravings. Empowered moms decide ahead of time what they will eat for breakfast based on what food gets their body off to the best start. Become a detective: How do you feel after you have yogurt? Juice? Oatmeal? Eggs? Smoothie? Every body is different and only you know what’s best for your body. Happy moms don’t do what the latest study tells them or what is working for their friend. They listen to their body and do what works for them. Consciously make choices that are best for you and your body. Click To Tweet

4) They Do Not Check Their Email, Facebook or Instagram Before Planning Their Day: Nope, they do not. No matter what excuses your brain comes up with: “Just Say No.” Set your intention for the day and plan out what you’re going to do when. Literally, write down the things that must get done in an hour slot on a daily calendar of some sort. (Here’s a scheduling worksheet I give clients when they’re beginning). Once you have written down the things that must happen during the day, add in the things that you’d like to have happen. This is where you can write in time to check Facebook, Instagram and personal emails. You’re an adult and you are here for a reason. Any activity that you haven’t consciously chosen to do negatively impacts your day, and your confidence. Click To Tweet Checking email, FB or anything else before setting your priorities for the day allows other people’s emergencies and needs to drive your day. It sends a quiet message to your inner warrior that your needs don’t matter as much as others. You know what you need to get done and you know when you’re letting yourself down by not doing it. When I do check my email before I’ve begun my day, I get sidetracked and help others with their priorities before I’ve attacked my priorities. This increases my feeling of overwhelm and busy-ness. When I wait to check my emails, not only do I feel calmer because I get done what needs to get done in my day but even better, I usually find strings of emails with the problem already solved. Remind yourself of this: The more I email, the more email I generate. Checking email more frequently doesn’t make your email go away. In fact, it’s the opposite. The less you check, the less you have to do. It’s best to sit down and check email at a certain time for a chunk of time (versus toggling back and forth). Same goes for Facebook or Instagram. Choose to look at your feed one time a day and that’s it. Remove the option to check in numerous times a day. FB developers have studied how to addict our brain but you can fight back. Limit yourself to once a day for email and social media and see what happens. Every single mom who’s done this comes back to me saying it’s made a fundamental change in her day, her attention span, and the overall time she spends on her phone/computer. The more we email, the more we email. The less we email, the less we email. It’s that simple. Things still get done. The Facebook feed will still be there. Problems still get solved. It’s up to you to decide how much of a role you want it to play in your life. 

Checking email more frequently doesn’t make email go away. The more I email, the more email I generate. Click To Tweet

5) They Do Not Watch the News: Ideally, they don’t watch the news at all but they certainly don’t turn the TV on in the morning. Two reasons. First, we can’t multitask. Having the TV on in the background will make any single thing you’re doing take longer. Period. Second, news is negative. Blood sells. Putting that sort of information in our brain first thing in the morning hands our mood over to the programs we’re watching. No matter what you tell yourself, I have not heard a reason for watching TV that I agree with. Try me (comments below). Having the TV on in the morning does nothing beneficial for us or our days. Nothing. This is not about me trying to turn you into a bumbling idiot that doesn’t know what is going on in the world. The news will still reach you. This is about setting you and your family up for success. Put on an uplifting podcast (my faves here), music, or an empowering meditation while you’re getting ready. Happy, high-achieving people pay attention to what they’re feeding their brains. Click To Tweet

Do you have anything you specifically DON’T do in the morning? Please share below. How about things you definitely DO do that set you up for success? Share below. We are here on this earth together for a reason. I bet I could learn something from you… 

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