Queen of busy?

That was me. If an award could be given, I would’ve gotten it. I hesitate to even put that in the past tense as I am quite confident that I could easily slide right back into busy-ness as a way of life. Busy with what, you ask? Oh my dears, thats why I’m the queen – I could be busy with anything! Busy with my kids, busy meal planning, busy cleaning, busy thinking about what I was going to eat, busy planning my errands, busy running my errands, busy thinking of what I needed to buy to be happy, busy blaming my ex, busy worrying about what else I could be doing, busy organizing my drawers, busy re-writing my to-do lists, busy checking up on virtual friends’ lives on FB….You name it, I could find a way to be busy with it.

Why in the hell would I choose to be so busy?? Because it served me.

Everything we do serves a purpose in our lives. Being busy by digging into my kids lives, my business, and my fitness helped me avoid thinking of my failing marriage. It also allowed me space so as to not investigate the relationship with my parents. I could argue that busy-ness served to protect me as I was not yet ready to see the realities of those relationships. It helped protect me until I had enough resources, actual and mental, to face the state of the most important relationships in my life.

I don’t buy it though.

It is my belief that, in the long run, busy-ness wears us down. The net effect is negative and this is seen and felt as we look around at all the people with their heads dipped over their phones and taking anti-depressants. How many people do you know who are on anti-depressants but are still depressed? I used to be one of them and so I can say, there’s a time for meds and there’s a time to do the f*cking mental work. What is the most successful nation on earth so depressed about? The answer to that question is deeper than a blog post, (more like a book), but lies in us getting conscious about our life and our choices.

How do we do this? How can we feel happier in our daily lives? How can we be more aware of what we are daily experiencing?  By slowing the f*ck down. I am not one to live with regrets, I believe that everything that’s happened to me happened for a reason. However, if I have one regret, it’s that I kept myself and my kids in a toxic environment for longer than needed. Why did I stay for years past when a decision could have been made? Because I was busy. Sadly I’m serious. I used “busy” as a buffer from my real life and thus, sucked time and happiness from me and my kids. No more. I choose to slow down, to be present for my days, and to experience all of my emotions. Why? Here are five amazing benefits of slowing the f*ck down:

  1. Better health: This is so far reaching it’s hard to limit to one paragraph. Slowing down my frantic pace helps my sleep, my eating, my exercising, my mental state. When I slow down, I sleep sounder because I can turn off the mental chatter in my brain. When I slow down, not only do I eat more healthy food because I’m paying attention to what I put in to my body but, since I’m not rushing from one thing to the next, I also can pay attention to how that food feels in my body after I eat it. I can compare how I feel after eating eggs or a bowl of cereal for breakfast. When I slow down, I am more aware of my emotional state and thus, more able to care for myself so that I don’t freak out on those around me.   
  2. Better Parent: When I’m not racing around making sure I have an ample backup paper towel supply, I’m a calmer and more present parent. When my son comes home with a concern or issue, I am more likely to approach him calmly and with the mental energy to help him in a way that serves him, versus trying to “fix” the problem quickly so I can get back to my “to do” list. I can sit and enjoy my time with him instead of thinking of what I “should” be doing.
  3. Better Partner: Same goes with my partner, when my mind isn’t going in four different directions, I can sit and enjoy our time together. Whether that’s our time together at the dinner table, during our evening walk, or in bed, slowing down allows me to stop, feel, enjoy, savor, and experience the present moment as if I’m human. Try it. Life can be pretty damn amazing!
  4. Better Relationship with ME! Part of slowing down is noticing and rejoicing in the little things. This means I take the time to consciously feel grateful for pieces of my day but it also means that I take the time to consciously celebrate me and my growth. Instead of accomplishing something and immediately rushing to the next thing, I pause and have a “Yay Me” moment. (see blog) My confidence in myself and my enjoyment in my life is heightened.
  5. Better Entrepreneur: Slowing down is not about doing less, it’s about doing what I’m doing intentionally. Instead of working for a certain number of hours because it’s a work day, I set my intention of what I want to do and why. What will my work on that task accomplish for my business? How will my clients benefit from the task that I have scheduled? How can I best serve?

So how do you slow down? Good news: You know exactly what to do. Look at your life. What are you doing that brings you joy? Do more of that. What are you doing that depletes you. Do less of that. Yes, it’s that simple. Simple but not easy as busy-ness is encouraged in society and you’ve likely spent a lifetime being rewarded for your busy-ness. Tough. Start slowing down today. Stop racing around and putting out the fires in your life. Consciously choose your actions instead. Breaking lifetime patterns is not easy. I am here. I’ve built a career helping women and kids slow down. Helping them bring conciousness to their lives and their decisions. The result? Empowerment. Emotional Intelligence. Joy. Contentment. Confidence. Fact: Slowing the f*ck down feels f*cking GRAND!